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Spencer Studio's Intern Program
As you
can imagine, being one of the Top Five Photographers in Ottawa, and winning
numerous national and international awards we get tens of thousands of inquiries
yearly from photography students and wanna-be photographers wanting to co-op,
intern or assist World Famous Master Photographer Robin Spencer. In an effort to
support our industry we have
developed what has been described as the "The Best Photo Studio Intern
Program in the World, and possibly the Universe", selecting only a few
applicants that can meet our incredibly high standards.
Language
Requirements:
A
mastery of English is essential, although technically, interns are not allowed
to speak to Mr. Spencer directly
Speaking French is not required but speaking with with a French accent is
(Parisian accent only please, it sounds classy)
Priority will be given to applicants who can also speak like a Valley Girl, or
do imitations of famous people
Intern
Applicant Requirements:
Must
be a huge fan of Bob Dylan (people who enjoy listening to Celine Dion or
Nickelback need not apply, because you are stupid)
No
visible piercings or tattoos (exceptions being a Bob Dylan tattoo or an "I
♥ Robin" tattoo),
No
hats, baggy pants, or any other clothes that make you look stupid
Shoes
must match but Socks must not match (it's an artistic thing)
Must
have a basic understanding of Art
(as in impressionists not Garfunkle)
Must
be able to do a graceful flourish while showing photographs etc.
Must
be able to give a believable laugh at Mr. Spencer's jokes no matter how lame, or
if you have already heard them 300 times
Must
be good with monkeys (not sure why he requires that)
Must
be able to dodge flying furniture when Mr. Spencer is having a bad day or can't
find his meds
Priority will be given to applicants who enjoy giving foot rubs
and trimming nose hair
Must
be willing to take a bullet for Mr. Spencer ("testing" is done on Thursdays, so
wear a really heavy sweater)
Additional
Information:
Please
note that Mr. Spencer is too busy to learn the names of interns, so you
will respond to "Grasshopper" or the snapping of fingers
Do not
make direct eye contact with Mr. Spencer, keep in mind that you are only an
intern
Do not
speak to Mr. Spencer directly, questions must go through his #1 assistant
Squeaky
Basic Job
Description:
The
internship includes no formal training, because we "visuals" learn best from
observing.
8:00AM
start the endless loop of Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits
9:00AM
and 10:30AM: Make Cappuccinos and Lattes alternately. And NEVER forget the
Biscotti. All delivered to Master. Silently but with a graceful flourish
9:15AM-10:25AM: Prank call Master's competitors and tell them they are stupid, then
laugh and hang up
10:30AM-11:30AM Clean and polish cameras, lens and studio equipment
11:45AM until 1:00PM Take Mr. Spencer out for a nice lunch, your treat
1:00PM
-2:00PM Afternoon Shoot, watch and learn
2:00PM
Prepare the couch for Master's nap, fluff the pillow, find his blanky. After
Master settles in, read softly almost in a whisper to him. Good Night Moon, The
Little Prince or anything by Stephen King. The no speaking rule is waived during
nap time reading
2:10PM
-2:59PM Your free time: best spent reading, looking at art, or baking cookies
3:00PM
Softly awake Mr. Spencer saying "Master, the world awaits your photographic
brilliance". The no speaking rule is waived during nap time waking
3:15PM
to closing: Watch and learn.
Some of The Many Benefits of
Interning at Spencer Studio :
Upon
completion, you will receive an official certificate. While the certificate
itself is just written on the back of an old used envelope (to show our
commitment to the environment) it is elegantly matted and framed. You will be
presented your certifelope during the graduation luncheon at the local Tim
Horton's. You may invite a guest and you may order any coffee/donut combination
you like... yes even an XL coffee (Mr. Spencer's generosity knows no limits).
After your celebratory lunch you will be whisked away to the local tattoo parlor
to have a monkey tattooed on your wrist. No one knows why a monkey, it is just
tradition.
Aside
from the obvious benefits of learning lighting and posing secrets and guerilla
marketing at it's finest, you will also learn to truly appreciate sarcasm.
Our
famous Intern Program will give you the confidence to enter the career of
professional photography, knowing you can professionally deal with any situation
and endure any amount of abuse.
Application Fees
and Additional Info:
Internship is a non-paid position.
Statistically only one applicant in 637 is chosen. Application processing fee is
$473.50.
Note: The application fee is waived
if you happen to look like Taylor Swift (No like "really" look like Taylor
Swift, not a guy in his 40's wearing a blond wig and tight jeans. I'm not
falling for that again)
Photographers Resource Page
Robin's Two New eBooks
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